AungWorlds

1: We, as humans, primarily learn to be the way we are;

therefore, at any point in life, we can learn to be different. But, it may not

be easy to change. 

I assume there are reasons--causes--for everything we do, and

that humans can learn to understand those reasons, which are

dependable, "lawful," useful, cause and effect relationships. Therefore,

each of us could presumably gain considerable control over our own

futures by understanding and using the "laws of behavior," especially

those in the form of self-help methods, such as:

If I repeatedly highly reward a desired behavior, it will probably

increase in frequency.

If I deeply relax for 10 minutes twice a day, I will probably be

calmer throughout the day.

If I learn new communication skills, such as empathy, I will

probably get along better with people.

If I can view a situation more positively or, at least, as being

"lawful," I will probably be less upset.

I will describe many self-help methods in simple terms, step by

step, almost like recipes in a cookbook. Then, we will learn how those

methods can be used with specific problems, like fears, sadness,

jealousy, selection of a mate, etc. If you understand how a problem

started and what keeps it going, and how self-help methods work, you

are better able to devise a way to change things. And that's what self-

help is all about.

I truly believe you learn by doing, not just by reading a book or

talking about your problems. You must use the ideas. So, I'll give you

lots of examples of how to use psychological methods in everyday life.

Hopefully, you can then see many ways to use each method in your

life--and, more importantly, will immediately try out the methods. If

you don't use the idea you have read or heard about within a day or

two, you will probably forget it.

As you read, ask yourself: How can I apply this idea or self-help

method today or tomorrow? As you live, moment by moment, ask

yourself: What have I learned about psychology that would help in this

situation? This learning orientation is crucial to changing; it becomes

automatic and contagious. A few successes will crush the old, cruel

idea that you can't change things, and then you get "high" on learning

about yourself and how to relate to others better. I'd like to see you

take an experimental approach to life, i.e. try out self-help methods to

see what works for you. As you learn and experience more, you

become more self understanding, more in control, less helpless and

more confident, and better prepared for a whole life-time of growth.

We all try to help ourselves all the time, so why not learn to be a really

good, knowledgeable self-helper and steadily improve your future?