AungWorlds

Our vision for the future might hold one of these two possibilities. We could be dreaming about some enjoyment that hopefully lies ahead, or worried about some looming hardship.

Often the enjoyment in our lives is put on hold, we just need more time and money. We just have to work a little harder. Too many things can go wrong with this and we may not be able to do it later for various reasons. If we put off our enjoyment of life until later, it may take longer than we think, or it may never happen the way that we envisioned it.

We should not throw away our precious todays in anticipation of good times, not when we can have days of enjoyment and satisfaction now. Perhaps it's time for an examination of our style of life and our wants and needs, now and for the future. It is good to imagine a happy future and make plans for it but we should not put off the happiness we can have today. So why not live each day as if the future plans may not materialize.

"We are never living, but only hoping to live; and, looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so." - Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) 

Worrying over something that is going to happen will make our lives stressful and less happy.

After examining an upcoming difficult or seemingly disastrous situation, if there is something that can be done to improve on it, do it. If not, and the event cannot or should not be avoided, then accept the fact and start thinking about something else. Worrying about it will not only be a total waste of time but it will increase anxiety, and things will seem even worse than they really are.

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly." Buddha (BC)

Stress is predominant in our society. Most of us are running here, running there, doing something at high speed, seldom relaxing. And they thought they were living busy lives a hundred years ago!

"This strange disease of modern life with its brisk hurry and divided aims." - Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

To improve upon this stressful way of life we can reassess our values and routines. If possible, we can eliminate some of those things which are not necessary to a contented life, and we can slow down. Achieving a stress free way of life will help keep us healthier and living longer and make our time here a lot more fun.
  
You can often visualize your way out of tension by picturing yourself in a very calm, peaceful, serene setting, in complete easy control. Picture it clearly and hold on to it. You can use your imagination in many different ways to help siphon off tensions - when at the bathroom sink or in the shower, let all your worries, stresses, anxieties, run down the drain with the dirty soapy water.
  
When you start to feel stress coming on, immediately try relaxing the muscles and fill your mind with thoughts of peace, tranquility, confidence, strength, happiness. Repeat these and other calming words to yourself now and again. Take notice of, and enjoy your surroundings all through the day. Look at, listen to, smell the limitless variety of things natural everywhere.

Make a determined effort to please someone. Offer help, agree, smile. This is much easier than trying to impress others, or trying to be perfect. Thinking of, and interacting with others, can be very soothing on the nerves, particularly if you expect no credits.
   
"The American over-tension and jerkiness and breathlessness and intensity and agony of expression are primarily social, and only secondarily physiological, phenomena. They are bad habits, nothing more or less, bred of custom or example, born of imitation of bad models and the cultivation of false personal ideals." - William James (1842-1910) 

Most of us go through life always wanting more and better. Being in this state of constant desire does not coexist with peace of mind.

It is normal to want better lives for ourselves and our families, but we have to balance our goals with the cost. How much does this promotion, vacation, new purchase, cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, go into getting it?

With the fast paced living that surrounds us it's difficult to avoid being swept in. Too many of us are rushing through our daily lives to do more and to acquire more. We are becoming less interested in our fellow humans as friends and more as competitors as we try to keep up or to possess more material goods.

There is a big push in this social direction by corporations and their marketers. They are in business to make money for their managements and shareholders, so this will likely continue if there is not much resistance. Advertising is a powerful persuasion to buy things we may not need or maybe not even really want. The overall success of marketing has created a want addiction for many consumers.

As more and more we come to falsely regard material gains as success we are missing out on the true values of life. Money really is quite necessary in our lives, but its value should not be worshiped. The good things in life are free, life itself, friendship, nature. Whatever we do possess, in the end we must leave it all behind.

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run." - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862) 

Our lives are only as good as we decide to make them. As with any worthwhile project we should make short and long range plans. We should follow them through, reviewing and altering them as we go. It is our design and determination that decide our destiny, and this is our responsibility.

When things go wrong we should not be quick to blame anyone. This can easily become a habit supplying us with ready excuses for our own mistakes and problems. Let's examine others' and our own actions and then decide how we should proceed with our own efforts.

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." - Thomas Kempis (1380-1471)

We should make a special effort to be what we want to be, giving consideration to what others might wish of us. We must do our duties, complete our tasks, be kind and honest. When there is the temptation for an immediate pleasure that may be harmful to us or to others, we must resist. Where there are injustices we should speak up.

"It is not alone what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere (1622-1673)

We are individuals and should do what we believe in, taking responsibility for our actions. A good critical look at ourselves is very helpful in determining what needs changing. It may also reveal much good to be proud of.

Not in the clamor of the crowded street,
Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,
But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.
- Henry Longfellow (1807-1882)

So much to fear - if we allow it.

There are common fears that can invade our lives, lessen our wellbeing, and rob us of happiness. A general fear of failing in life can be the result of fear in one or more areas such as with personal health or workplace conditions. A common fear is social anxiety.

There are many niche fears that are more confined such as fear of heights, closed spaces, mice, strangers, public speaking and more.

Fear tears at our insides and causes us to feel inadequate and panicky. It can be uncomfortable to horrifying and uncontrolled can lead to a lower quality of life. In our endeavor to be happier we should consider learning more about fear, its causes and possible ways of dealing with it. Fire up your search engine or head for the library and learn more about fear.

One suggestion offered through the ages is that it is not an event that causes fear, but it is the fear of that event. If it is in our thoughts then it is something that we might control by altering our ideas, attitudes, or actions.

"For it is not death or hardship that is a fearful thing, but the fear of death or hardship." - Epictetus (55-135)
 
Try to free yourself from guilt or shame. If you have erred badly correct it or forget it. Talk it over with a friend. Look for good in yourself and in others. Avoid large doses of hyped bad news reporting and look for some good stories.

Criticism by peers at work or school is a real cause of fear yet it may indicate the attackers' emotional problems. They may need to put others down in order to feel adequate. Bullying is harmful and unacceptable, and it should be discussed with friends, family, and others that can provide help or suggestions.

There is only one you, unique and deserving of a good life, so feel good about yourself just the way you are.

Kindness to others is usually a rewarding experience, both to the recipient and the giver. When we are kind to someone we do not need to be thanked since we are instantly rewarded.

"When you are good to others, you are best to yourself." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Doing a favor or showing understanding and compassion just feels good. To do so for praise or other benefit is more of a trade and does not have the same effect. To be kind without taking credit for it is a true unselfish act of goodness. Not only are we performing a kindness, but we are doing ourselves a big favor by reducing our stresses and improving our well being.

"The measure of a person's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." - Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859)
  
Many philosophers and others have stated this important relationship between our feelings toward others and the way we feel. By thinking of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves. This is particularly helpful if we find that we are too often occupied with self-pity, anger, or anxieties. It can work miracles.

Charity is more than a tax deduction.

"If you lend money, it is uncertain whether you shall be repaid; but if you bestow alms, although they may be small, your return will be a hundred fold." - Saskya Pandita (1182-1251)
 
So do yourself a favor and be kind every day. 

A better life has been achieved when we are no longer trying to achieve a better life. It means that we are content, as we should be, with ourselves and what we have. To be anxious for more or to envy someone else's life or possessions is self-defeating. We are then in a constant state of frustration, always hoping and waiting for more happiness.

So what is important? Enough, not more.

"Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them." - Marcus Aurelius (121-180)

There is, here and now, much to appreciate. There is life itself with friends, family, and everything that is naturally before us. We just have to look around and take it in. Perhaps it is time to make a list of all the good things we have to grateful for.

Are there people in your life that you would miss dearly if they were not here? When you go for a walk don't you see, hear, and smell, many things to appreciate and feel nice about? Like the flowers, trees, birds, and the clouds in the sky. A caterpillar crossing the sidewalk or your neighbor waving. A cute pup or child enthusiastically enjoying that moment in life.

"Whether in favor or in humiliation, be not dismayed. Let your eyes leisurely look at the flowers blooming and falling in your courtyard. Whether you leave or retain your position, take no care. Let your mind wander with the clouds folding and unfolding beyond the horizon." - Hung Tzu-ch'eng (1593-1665)

It just makes good sense to be satisfied and at peace with yourself and others, and to enjoy life now.

We all make mistakes. Sometimes they are very bad and cause ourselves and others much worry and suffering. We can be depressed and burdened with regret for many years, never forgiving ourselves, never forgetting our actions. Carrying on in this way is another big mistake, disturbing our lives in very unpleasant and painful ways.

It is not necessary. Worrying about something that has already happened is a complete waste of time if you just keep wishing that it hadn't happened. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience." - George Washington (1732-1779)

Perhaps there is some way to make amends and that should still be a consideration. If not then regard it as a learning experience. Review what has happened enough to draw conclusions about what to do, and what not do, in the future. But then forget the stupid or bad thing you did and start thinking about something else.

Negative thoughts about the past will keep coming back again and again unless there are other thoughts occupying your mind. Begin feeding your brain with encouraging and fun ideas especially when that 'thing' from the past returns. Be generous, kind and forgiving to others and yourself.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

You no longer have yesterday; you only have today and tomorrows.

Many of us at one time or another have wondered what we are doing here. This can be both at times when we are having hectic, stress filled days, or at a standstill in a fog of boredom. We have temporarily lost sight of our purpose.

On average, the hours we work constitute a relatively small portion of our life and should not control our well being. If you are too tired or do not have enough time to do anything after hours, then your daily routine may be out of balance and may need to be adjusted. Your work may be too difficult or unsuitable, or you may need to change your routine. Perhaps a simpler lifestyle would change your focus on your work and life in general.

To obtain a healthy purpose in our lives we need a good balance of our time for work, goals, recreation, and relaxation. The daily routine should be examined, a plan established, and then it should be followed.

We can make good use of our time away from work to increase our knowledge of things and life, to work at a hobby or project, and to just relax. There may not be much room to maneuver, say if you are a working single parent, but perhaps a few hours can be found during your hectic week to do something that you want to do.

Most of us use only a small percentage of our capabilities and can do so much more. Learning new things gives us a feeling of achievement. Reading nonfiction books increases our knowledge and teaches us new skills, but it should be enjoyable. In undertaking a new after hours project do something different from what you do all day at work. Start with something small and complete it, so as not to get discouraged and to get a feeling of achievement when it is done. 

If you are too busy and under a lot of stress, a more passive and relaxing undertaking might be in order, at least to start with. A day a week, or a few hours on certain days, should be set aside for your favorite enjoyment. Walking, listening to nice music, reading a novel, or leisurely working in the yard. Avoid news or entertainment that is saturated with disasters and violence. But whatever you do, don't sit and stew.

"When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind." - Seneca

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/relaxation.html

Practicing relaxation techniques can help calm our days when they get too stressful. It's easy to miss out on enjoying a day in our life if our minds are filled with worrisome thoughts and our bodies are tense with stress. A day lived is not coming back and we should not lose it in this way.

For starters, eliminate some things. Avoid running around frantically trying to do too many things. Slow down and move with an easy manner.

If you cannot avoid problems and busy days, get in the habit of pausing to breathe slowly and deeply. Try to continue with easy breathing as you continue on with your tasks.

When tightening up, say at your desk, relax all your muscles. Let them go limp and loose like a soft towel. Don't try, just let it all go. Consciously let the muscles relax every time you feel them tighten, which might be all day long to start with. It is almost impossible to feel stressed if your muscles are relaxed.

If you can get a short break create a detailed peaceful retreat in your imagination and go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid detail. Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music, a quiet place in the woods, a placid lake, a beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds. Perhaps such a place already exists. While you are there, let go of everything except where you are.

Create a personal selection of calming words like serene, tranquil, peaceful and repeat them to yourself as you move through your day.

After work perhaps you can have a relaxing pastime such as walking or listening to music.

"There is however, a true music of nature - the song of the birds, the whisper of leaves, the ripple of waters upon a sandy shore, the wail of wind or sea." - John Lubbock (1834-1913)

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/confidence.html

Have you often admired the person who is friendly, relaxed and talks easily in a crowd? Most of us have wished that we had more of these outgoing attributes to help us in our work and daily lives.

Confidence comes easily and naturally for some, for many others it seems impossible. The good news is that it is a habit that can be learned to some degree by anyone. It will take some training and practice, but what a great way to be more successful and to feel better.

"The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. Without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience - true life is impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

A great source for learning self-confidence is of course books. You haven't been alone in the need for information on improving your ability to interact positively with people and there are numerous self-help books available to get you started. Just take an easy approach and read a variety of the best sellers that you feel will benefit you the most.

Using autosuggestion, by repeatedly filling the mind with thoughts of calmness and composure, can improve self-assurance. Picture in your mind, as vividly as possible, a scene in which you are performing very successfully. Picture this again and again so that your mind is totally occupied with your easy performance. This will push out doubt as there is not room for both trains of thought. Every time a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with positive thoughts.

Affirmations are a similar technique that can work wonders. This is the repeating of positive words about yourself, concerning what you wish to do. The words cram the mind with confident thoughts that have a direct effect on how you feel and act. As an example, if you have to make a presentation - ' I have nothing to lose. They like me and I feel good and comfortable with these people. I am concentrating on them, not on myself. They are not here to be critical of me. I am doing everything slowly, calmly, surely. I am relaxed and breathing deeply and easily. I feel confident about this and am in control.'

"They can because they think they can." - Vergil (BC)

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/despair.html

The feeling of despair and hopelessness may seem very appropriate and particular to your situation, but you should know that others have been there and have suffered similar or worse experiences. They have survived to enjoy life and so will you.

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." - Winston Churchill

All things pass, have they not always before? To counteract the feeling of hopelessness, list those assets and pleasures which you have but seem to be ignoring. Perhaps some of these words will turn your thoughts: family, friends, health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books. Start thinking about the nice things in your life, things you value and make you happy. Leave the negatives behind.

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." - Erich Fromm

The feeling of guilt often results in despair and depression. We should think about the wrong we have done, but just long enough to realize the full extent of what we did. If there is something that can be done about it, consider doing it. The only other thing that we can do is to assure ourselves that we will avoid that mistake in the future. Beyond this, stewing over it and rehashing the event endlessly, will do no good. It is a complete waste of time and makes us feel sick with worry.

Avoid experiences that result in guilt by not judging, blaming, or bringing down other people. Try to find their good points, and try to avoid anger. Be nice to yourself too, accept that you make mistakes, and don't hold a grudge.

One of the best ways to recover from despair, guilt, or sorrow, is to keep busy.
"When all else is lost the future still remains." - Christian Bovee (1820-1904)

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/acceptance.html

When faced with a serious problem the first thing we can do is determine if there is a way to fix it. If there is a way then we can lay out a plan and go to it. If there is not a reasonable solution then we can resign ourselves to the fact that it isn't going to change and move on. Acceptance of the situation can provide some immediate relief from the anger, anxiety and stress that might be burdening us.

Why wouldn't you accept it, if it does not have a solution? Rehashing it over and over in your mind will not make it disappear and is just self punishment. The Serenity Prayer as used by the Alcoholics Anonymous organization puts it in this way.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Most of our worries are about something that has happened and is still with us, real or perhaps only as a memory. If it has already happened, what can be learned? It is the experience of struggling, surviving and carrying on, that makes us better humans.

How often have you worried intensely over something that turned out to be not as bad as you initially thought, or not a problem at all? Even some of our most serious personal problems often fade away in a month or year.

Acceptance is an important ingredient in the formula of life. It makes an irritating situation acceptable, a major problem minor. Acceptance should be waiting to take over whenever there is not a way out.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of the will." - Epictetus (55-135)

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/happiness.html

"If you aren't happy, why aren't you?

Chances are it is because you want something which you do not have, objects or conditions. This is probably not a good enough reason and a review of your situation and perceptions may be in order.

You may have seen video of children in very poor countries laughing and playing, unconcerned that they should have more to be happy about. They are happy because they are playing, because they have their friends and family, and some food to eat that day. Everyone has the right to be happy, and if they can be in their situation, shouldn't you?

"Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life." - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Happiness is inside us, in our minds, in our thinking. It is not external material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of our thoughts and feelings. This is good because our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us.

Start by reviewing the things that you have to be happy about and dwell on these. Don't overlook the little or basic things that you take for granted.

Make a habit of substituting unhappy thoughts with happy thoughts. Whenever an unfavorable picture enters your mind, eject it and replace it with a pleasant one. We all have some nice experiences to recollect and there are usually little pleasures around us most of the time. You can even imagine enjoyable experiences, and it will have a similar positive effect.

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."  - Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Establish good principles and conduct yourself according to these principles. Love, or at least be tolerant of, your fellow humans. Don't strive too hard for that which, in the end, will not make you happier.

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/03/today.html

At the end of today, if it has been preoccupied with thoughts of enjoyment that might be coming, we will find that we have lost something valuable that will be gone forever. Today!

In hoping to be happy about something in the future, instead of being happy right now, we are missing out. We often want more time, more money for that new purchase, a better job, better health. The list may be long.

This is such a waste because there are probably many things to feel really good about each day. Unfortunately we are encouraged to dwell on things that we have yet to acquire. If we were bombarded with daily reminders of how lucky we are and how much we have to be happy about, we would retire at night with wonderful days behind us.

"No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy the sunlight today, mix good cheer with friends today, then enjoy it and bless God for it. Do not look back on happiness or dream of it in the future. You are only sure of today; do not let yourself be cheated of it." - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1878)

Our day should be free of other stresses and worries. An analysis of a bad event that has happened, or may happen, can be worthwhile in determining a course of action. Beyond that, to continue worrying about it is a completely useless waste of time and is harmful to our health. Worry does not help the future experience and could make it worse, and the past cannot be changed.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

So enjoy yourself today because it is not coming back.

http://myblogaungworlds.blogspot.com/2011/02/friendship.html